just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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