i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
How's work?
Spinning.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Randomize
