My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
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You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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