someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
