Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
People in love make me want to vomit
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Randomize
