You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
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