The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
