Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
