how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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