We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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