Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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