Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
