My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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