Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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