Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
