quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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