cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
