sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
