Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
