just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
