the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
