The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize