I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Randomize