So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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