Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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