There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
