Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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