The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
