I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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