scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize
