i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
