spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
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