i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
