I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
