And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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