And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
