Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize