sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Randomize
