just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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