tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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