No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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