You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
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