I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
