Apparently you make a good broom.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Randomize
