Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
