How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
