I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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