Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
