I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
