i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
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