I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
so let's talk penis.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Randomize
