This is not my ceiling
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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