What did we do last night that was yellow?
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
