4 words: hood of his car
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
You made out with two different species that night
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
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