I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
We had to coat check the pizza.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
