it was like his penis was on wheels.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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