Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
