Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
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